Fore!some Page 5

  “I think you’d better bring the bottle Gerry, Gloria seems to be thirsty!” she said pulling the bundle of pictures back out from her bag as Gerry left. As before instead of handing the pictures to Gloria, Natalie held them up for inspection, right beside her face, like a judge at an ice skating competition awarding points.

  “Yeah, I see the similarity. Oh that’s a good one!” and, “Yes, I like that!” Gloria said as Natalie went through the pile growing increasingly irritated.

  “Oh I’m sure you don’t mean that!” Natalie declared as Gerry came back in with the bottle, “I mean, what kind of tramp sends disgusting things like that to other women’s husbands?” and she looked at Gerry for confirmation.

  “Probably the kind that takes it in both ends from other people’s husbands Natalie - but I wouldn’t know about that, do you?” Gloria replied coldly causing Gerry to freeze in terror with his arm out holding the wine. “C’mon Gerry, pour!” and poor Gerry did...just as Gloria took her glass away and watched him pour the wine over the round snow white carpet beneath them.

  “Oh my rug!” shouted Natalie, “Stop it you idiot!” she screamed at Gerry who in petrified witlessness was still pouring.

  “Oh and it’s such a lovely rug too, not as nice as the one in the pictures, eh Gerry, but really nice!” Gloria said holding her glass under the torrent to catch the rest of the wine.

  “It’s pure wool!” Natalie howled.

  “That’s good; you won’t get carpet burns on your knees then huh Natalie? Just kidding!” Gloria shrieked, slapping her thigh. “Shouldn’t you get it into the bath and turn the cold tap on?”

  “It’ll shrink, you idiot!” Natalie exclaimed, losing it completely.

  “But sheep don’t when they’re dipped! Mind you, Ed does when he goes in the sea!” Gloria added helpfully and she bent down and picked up the rug herself and carried it through to the bathroom and put it in the bath and turned on the cold tap followed by Natalie still shrieking and Gerry still carrying the bottle upside down, now thankfully, empty. “The important thing is to keep it wet until you’ve got the stain out. All you need is some biological washing powder and it’ll be fine.”

  “I don’t use it, it brings me out in a rash - Gerry can go to the shops for it!” Natalie said, watching her rug floating about in the bath like the victim in a murder film.

  “Oh there’s no time for that,” Gloria said, “I’ve got some at home but I’m afraid that wine has gone straight to my head. If you keep changing the water, Gerry can run me back for it, okay? Right Gerry, let’s go!”

  As soon as Gerry drove away from the door, Gloria phoned Ed at home and told him that there had been a bit of an accident and to get down to the shops and buy a big box of, “Biological warfare, I mean washing powder and take it round to Natalie toute suite!” She smiled and put the phone back in her bag. “Okay, ease off on the throttle there Gerry, we have to give the schmuck time to clear the building!” she said smiling.

  “This has been one of the best hours of my life so far Gloria,” Gerry told her, glancing nervously at her, “I’ve no idea what’s going on but I’m assuming you know what you’re doing and I’ll come along just for the ride.”

  “You never said a truer word Gerry!” Gloria replied, “I know you never saw the pictures - Don told me, but don’t worry, if you want to see them, they’re on my computer.” She laughed at his expression and continued, “Ed and Natalie are having an affair and she knows I’m on to them. I’m going to put a stop to it, but I want revenge too! That’s what’s going on, how do you feel about that Gerry?”

  “I knew there was someone...there usually is, but I never knew it was Ed. I’m sorry Gloria. So, you sent the pictures? You really got under her skin with them...and the rug! My God, she loves that awful thing! That was really funny, but when Ed turns up with the washing powder, she’ll think we’re up to something in your house...we’d better get back quick!”

  “Except for one thing Gerry...we are up to something!” Gloria told him turning to him and winking.

  In another few minutes, Gerry pulled the car into Gloria’s empty drive. “Looks like the bird has flown!” Gloria said wryly, “Ok, Gerry, let’s get down to business!” Inside Gloria started her computer and told Gerry about discovering Natalie’s message to Ed and how it had turned her world upside down. She said she intended to pay Ed back in the same coin and if Gerry was up for it, they could begin right there. “For openers Gerry, do you want to see the pictures that she’s been hiding from you?”

  “Well I suppose so Gloria. What I don’t understand is how you’ve got them,” Gerry said, still mystified.

  “You don’t! This is going to be fun then Gerry, prepare to be rudely awakened!” and she navigated to the folder and opened a picture of her fine line and smart patch for him to gawp at.

  Gerry gawped and gulped and said, “I still don’t get it - who is she?”

  “For Christ’s sake Gerry, see if you can work this out!” Gloria said, and putting her hands on her thighs she slowly drew her dress up to her waist revealing her knickerless state and the well kept subject of the photos.

  “Oh my! Oh my! Oh my God! It’s you!” Gerry shouted loud enough for the neighbours to hear.

  “Mucho gusto!” Gloria smiled.

  “Eh, what?”

  “I lapse into Spanish or something when I’m under strain,” Gloria explained. “It means, Well done Sherlock! Now, are you getting any ideas?

  “Oh but you’re not meaning...No, you’re too beautiful, and it’s me! I’ve never been with anyone but Natalie...and she makes all the decisions about that kind of thing. I just do what she tells me!” Gerry said quite terrified.

  “And what does she tell you?” Gloria demanded walking Gerry backwards into the downstairs bedroom, her skirt round her waist and pushing him backwards onto the bed. “How about, lie still and do not resist?” she said and climbing on top of him, straddled him and sat her vulva squarely on his mouth, “Lick Gerry - and be alive to further orders!” she told him and with that she ground down on hapless Gerry aware as she was of what a grotesque sight they must have made, her with her bag still over her shoulder and him wearing his navy blazer with its brass buttons. At least it meant her phone was at hand to snap Gerry’s rug-munching which if not in Leonard’s class was at least competently taught.

  A shudder or two later Gloria told Gerry to open his fly and prepare for sex but there was no response until she remembered to open her thighs and uncover his ears. It certainly wouldn’t have frightened the horses far less belong to one but Gloria was in desperate straits and she found as she wriggled on to Gerry’s willie that it was willing and wiry and wanted; if not for murder, ars-on at least!

  It took a while, not because Gerry had any great staying power but because Gloria had developed a pride in her photography. Trying to fit Gerry’s face and penetrating cock into the one composition took a bit of doing but Gloria found that if she sat up straight and held the phone above her head with a bit of good timing and a lot of luck not only could she manage that, but she could get her face in as well.

  Throughout her experiments Gerry struggled manfully to make the most of the opportunity and indeed Gloria felt a little guilty once her portfolio was shot that she had not given of herself the way she had done with Leonard and Don and so she resolved to make amends. She leaned down on her elbows and kissed Gerry, “Hmm what’s that scent you’re wearing Gerry, it’s really nice?”

  “No scent - Natalie won’t let me - It’s you!” Gerry stammered.

  “Do you like it? I think we should call it, Gloria in Excelsis and in future any time you want, you can dab a little behind your ears. Is that a good idea baby?” she purred licking his lips.

  “It’s a fucking topper!” he exploded, emerging from some kind of mental crisis. “Anytime I want...Gloria in Excesses behind my
ears - I’ll just dip them in it!” Gerry said, carried away by her promise.

  “Oh you tiger Gerry, but it’s not a bucket you know!” she told him, licking the whole of his face now in long upward strokes. “It’s Gloria’s pussy and it’s very delicate. You have to treat it very gently and make it Meow nice and contentedly!”

  “Oh yes I’ll do that, I will, I will...” Gerry continued in time to Gloria’s sudden upwards and downwards thumping assault on his little man.

  “C’mon Gerry!” Gloria called out, seizing him by the tie and riding him like a rodeo star, only lacking a hat to wave. “Give it to me good!” and she roared, “Viva Zapata!” a little too enthusiastically shrinking him back into his blazer and in disappointment and desperate need of a Guadalajara asking him, “What are you, a man or a mouse?”

  “A mouse!” Gerry managed to squeak, then his phone rang and he fumbled in his blazer for it as she continued laughing, riding, a whooping and a hollering.

  “Ed’s just arrived here with the washing powder! Where the fuck are you and what are you doing with that bitch?” Natalie screamed.

  “Am - am - am - am just getting ready to drive back dear, we were having some tea!” Gerry stammered unconvincingly before Gloria took the phone from him.

  “Oh Hi Natalie! It’s Gloria!” Gloria shouted as if it was a nice surprise and she was in the middle of a field somewhere, maybe the village fête. “Gerry’s having a lie down, he’s been exerting himself! I was just keeping him company...you know, like you do with Ed? But I’ll send him back all safe and sound,” and she laughed and whispered to Gerry knowing that Natalie could hear, “If a little sweaty and just a little bit smelly!” She lifted the phone again, “Oh by the way,” she continued, “I heard what you said to Gerry...I hope you’ve got some of that biological powder left...so you can wash your foul mouth out with it! Now finish blowing my husband and if I find any fang marks on his cock, I’ll come down there and punch your cow face as flat as your ass!” and she dropped the phone on the bed and resumed bouncing Gerry into it.

  “AAH! What have you done? Now I’m homeless! She’ll kill me!” Gerry squeaked...and so did the springs.

  “Not if you kill her first!” Gloria told him and dismounted since his cock had shrivelled. “I’m not going to take that personally!” she told him pointing at it. “Go home Gerry, and forget the mouse routine, you only get one crack at life so why not try being a man for the second half?” she asked him.

  “I know you’re right Gloria, but it’s making the change that’s so difficult,” he admitted, shaking his head sorrowfully. “If only I could!” he said, “But I can’t even think how to do it!”

  “Don’t think about it Gerry, just do it, that’s what I did and look at the difference it made to me! Anyway, I don’t dab mouse ears with perfume, so if you want any...”

  Gerry stood up and fixed his clothes, “I suppose I’d better get moving, and I’m sorry I’m so pathetic...I’ve always been like that. Thanks Gloria - for everything. You know...I think it has made a difference!”

  The very second he left, Gloria sent Ed the photo of Gerry’s face between her legs with the caption; “Do you think Gerry suits a moustache?” Then she went and poured herself another glass of wine, put her feet up and imagined the scene in Natalie’s house when Ed received the message. Would he show it to her? And how would they be with poor Gerry when he arrived home? More to the point, how will she be with rat Ed when he arrives home?

  Chapter Six

  Trusted

  Except he didn’t, not until very late and Gloria was in her pyjamas and ready for bed. He came in, stood looking at Gloria for a minute and then walked across the room and poured himself a very large whisky, downed it in a one-er, poured another and sat down. On one side of his face there were two very deep and painful looking scratches which had bled right down into his collar, his nose had been bleeding too and his eye on the other side of the scratches was bloodshot and badly bruised. He looked dazed and done in and Gloria was ecstatic.

  “Bump into an old pal, Ed?”

  “Natalie was standing beside me when your message came through,” he said in a flat voice, “I tried not to let her see the picture...but she always has to have her way. She seemed to think I was in on it; anyway she hit me a few times and scratched my face. She didn’t take it well. Just then Gerry arrived home. He was in a state too. He was shaking when he came in...sort of bowing too, as if she were some kind of Eastern plenipotentiary or something. It didn’t do him any good, ‘cos she launched herself at him with a scream of rage and kicked him in the nut-sack. He went down like a shot pig and she threw herself on top of him biting and scratching, and punching like Muhammad Ali. I just stood there, glad it wasn’t me I suppose.”

  “I’m glad you had a nice time dear,” Gloria intoned, intending to phone Gerry and commiserate, but Ed continued in that same oddly flat way.

  “She was banging his head off the floor when suddenly; this fist came out of no-where and landed right on her mouth! It knocked her clean off him and onto her back. I honestly thought there was someone else down there, but it was Gerry! He got up and...just fucking everything about him was different! He was all blood and bites and he had lost a tooth, but I don’t mean that - he just looked so mean! His face was all twisted and he was snarling like a dog! Like a fucking dog Gloria! Like one of those sharp black things with the pointy ears; a...a Doberman fucking Pinscher!

  He grabbed Natalie by the hair and yanked her to her feet and back-handed her across the jaw so hard it knocked her down again then he yanked her back up and began slapping her, with both hands, across the face and head...rhythmically, he was playing a fucking tune Gloria, like in Concerto Fantasy for two Timpanists and Orchestra by Philip Glass!

  She was screaming blue murder and still trying to fight back...she really shouldn’t have done that ‘cos he grabbed her by the throat and shook her like a rat...that shut her up, then he picked her up in both hands and chucked her across the room. She bounced off the wall and was lucky to land on the sofa and not break her neck. I was too scared to move and I just stood there and watched him advance on her and rip her clothes off - and I mean rip them off! He tore her dress up into tiny little pieces while she just birled about like a bobbin and he kept slapping her and said that she wouldn’t be needing clothes for a while then he tied her hands together with her knickers, slung her over his knee and gave her the most brutal spanking you ever even heard about.

  I thought he was never going to stop; she wasn’t struggling or even screaming, I thought maybe he’d killed her...and I just said, ‘Gerry,’ that’s all I said; but he got up, dropping her on the floor like a sack of shit and came over to me and belted me, right in the fucking eye! He told me I had fucked his wife for the last time and to get the fuck out of his house or he’d kill me and if I ever showed my face back at the golf club he would tell all the members what a rat I was, just like you said!

  I picked myself up from the floor and looked at Natalie. She was black and blue all over and her backside was scarlet with white hand marks overlaid it like an aboriginal cave painting! She looked fucking terrified! He picked her up off the floor with one hand; I don’t know where he got the strength, and threw her over his knee again. She started to cry, delayed shock I suppose...and she begged him not to but he shouted at her that she was getting it for a fucking year! As I was leaving I heard the spanking starting again and I could still hear it when I started the fucking engine!

  I don’t know if you got a tot of rum up there when you took that photo of Gerry...or what you said to him, but something came over him - and I don’t mean you Gloria!

  Jesus honey, I never meant this to happen! Can we - I mean, can it just stop now? I’m really sorry Gloria!” and Ed started to cry like a baby.

  Was it that easy? Should it be that easy - for both of us, I win and you get off lightly? It co
uld be, she supposed; except, there was Leonard and Don. They were a part of her world now, Ed had made them that. She could just phone them up and say, “It’s over, Ed’s apologised,” maybe he deserved that chance; he’s her husband. Except...“Is that all there was Ed, just Natalie, nothing else to tell me? Nothing else I might get mad about?”

  He didn’t stop to think about it, he should have done, but he didn’t, “That’s all there was honey...Natalie, just a couple of times. Nothing else; and it’s over now.”

  She waited a bit to let him change his mind, but he didn’t, “I’ll tell you what Ed, I’ll think about it!” she said eventually, angry at him for hiding the threesome, more than that, shaking with it. “Anyway, I’m tired and you look like you could do with a lie down too! I’m going to sleep downstairs tonight. You can have the matrimonial bed, that’s the one you fucked Natalie on! No, no, don’t say anything about it; the bed down stair’s the one I had Gerry on! Goodnight Ed!”

  ***

  When Gloria came out of the shower in the morning, her breakfast was already on the table and there were fresh flowers in a vase. “Hi hon,” Ed said, his face a mess with the scratches and the bruising around his eye.

  Those aren’t scratches, you’ve cut his face you bitch; they’ll leave a scar! Gloria thought bitterly. “Someone called in the caterers? I hope you’re not trying to get round me Ed, it won’t change anything, I’ve still got to make my mind up about you!”