Fore!some Page 3

  Everything felt different! Walking out to her car, driving to the shops, even pushing a trolley about, this was exciting and people were looking at her! She hoped she wasn’t wandering about with some goofy smile on her face but, no, they were just looking - maybe they always had, but then again, no, she was different, she made an effort now - and, then there was the confidence!

  “Gloria! I haven’t seen you in ages! What’s been happening in your life - there’s been plenty happening in mine but I’ll let you go first!”

  Gloria spun round, a big smile on her face. “Natalie - in the flesh, well aren’t you always? Oh, I’m just cooking, cleaning and washing, nothing exciting; I leave all that to Ed. So what are you up to - or down to?”

  “Did you hear about the pictures Gerry got in the post?” Gloria nodded smiling eagerly. “Well, I took them off him right away, of course! Some slut, I’ve no doubt - I can’t help worrying though, why Gerry? I mean he’s a sweet man, but not - Oh I don’t know what I mean either! I told him I’d destroyed them - really just to stop him showing them to his golf chums - Ed! I’m sure you wouldn’t like that!”

  “Are you? I think I’d probably get used to it - maybe I should check his phone! Look, unfortunately, I’ve got an appointment so I’ll have to dash - ”

  “Wait, don’t you want to see the photos? I’ve not got them here - why don’t you come round for coffee on Saturday morning? We could have a good old chat and catch up on things - about eleven?”

  “Ok, I’ll see you at eleven then! Bye!” Why you two faced, lying cow! What a nerve you’ve got! Mind you, something I’d never thought of - I wonder if you’ve shown the photos to Ed - probably not - you wouldn’t want him to see what he’s missing! Better keep my pj’s on for a bit though, don’t want him to see the new rug too soon! Somebody tell me why I agreed to go round and look at pictures of my own vagina? Gloria thought, laughing so hard as she walked along the concourse that people were staring - then smiling.

  “Bumped into Gloria in the mall. Really weird. You sure she doesn’t suspect? She’s coming round to see the photos on Sat morn. Gerry will be here so no good for us anyway! Nataliexxx”

  “Weird? Didn’t want her involved, but ok. Don’t think she suspects. Really hope not!! Edxx”

  “She doesn’t look like I remember! New hair, clothes, new face! Asked me who I was going down on! NatalieX”

  “What?! You must have misheard! Funny you say that though, she gave me amazing blowjob! Best ever. Worried now. Ed”

  “Thanks for that! So much for, ‘Best Head Award!’ Now I no Gloria’s queen bobber! Nat!”

  “I meant for her, yours are still better! I love you! Edxx”

  “Oh mine are still better! But for how much longer you shit!? Oh Gloria gives the best head! Fuck Gloria and Fuck you!!!”

  “I’ll speak to you when you’re sober! Edxx”

  “Fuck you!”

  If only Gloria could have read that exchange she really would have been elated but she had the next best thing in a very nervous Ed that night. “Guess who I bumped into in the mall today?”

  “I don’t know honey.”

  “Natalie. She was talking about the pictures Gerry got in the post.”

  “What pictures is that?”

  “The ones you and the boys were talking about at golf last week, anonymous nude pictures.”

  “Oh them.”

  “Yeah them. She’s invited me to go round to see them - have you seen them?”

  “No.”

  “I was wondering if any of the other men got any, what do you think?”

  “No, I don’t think so.”

  “If you’d got them, would you have shown them to me?”

  “Of course honey, you know I would.”

  “That’s because we don’t have any secrets from each other, right? I mean you would never tell me a lie, would you Ed?”

  “Jesus honey, of course I wouldn’t!”

  “What about Natalie, Ed, do you think she’s attractive?”

  “No! I mean, I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it. What are we having to eat tonight honey?”

  “I think about it all the time, not Natalie, but men, y’know like Gerry and Leonard.”

  “I didn’t know that!”

  “Oh yes! Sometimes on the bus, if there’s a man opposite me, I’ll stare at his crotch and then when I know he’s seen me, I’ll smile and look him in the eye. You’d be amazed how many men get erections!”

  “Gloria! What’s got into you?”

  “Not you anyway Ed. Chicken pie...for dinner I mean.”

  “I hope you’re not thinking of having an affair with Gerry?”

  “...and peas with roast potatoes, I like that. Of course not - I’d never be the first to cheat. What about you Ed?

  “No, I wouldn’t cheat either!”

  “I meant, do you like chicken pie with peas and potatoes? I already knew the answer to the other thing silly! I do quite like Natalie as well though.”

  “You do? I’m sure she likes you honey.”

  “How do you know that Ed? It must be six months since you saw her - remember we all went to the club? Anyway, I didn’t mean that way, I meant sexually - maybe we should have a threesome - that’s not cheating, is it?”

  “Gloria - you don’t mean that! Do you?”

  “Or maybe a swap with Gerry!”

  “No! Natalie would never have that!”

  “She wouldn’t?”

  “No, never! She’s really proprietorial about him!”

  “Is she?”

  “Oh Jeeze, you wouldn’t believe it!”

  “Wow, you know a lot about Natalie! Don’t you Ed?” and she watched satisfied as the blood drained from Ed’s face. “But that’s just Gerry telling you stuff, isn’t it Ed?”

  “Yes,” Ed replied weakly, “That’s what it is.”

  “All right then, would you like me to ask her on Saturday?” and she waited.

  “Em, I really don’t know what to say honey - If you would, I suppose.”

  “If I would? Well it really wouldn’t be about me Ed. Y’know, I was thinking, maybe me sucking your cock while she sat on your face - or maybe you’d like that the other way round? Or maybe you’d like Natalie and me to sixty-nine for you first?” Ed was changing colour and tone like a chameleon and for a moment Gloria worried that he might have a heart-attack.

  “Yeah, God, yeah! Whatever! Jeeze, it all sounds good to me!”

  “I can see that Ed, your cock is going to punch a hole in your trousers if you don’t let it out soon!”

  “Do you want me too?” Ed asked, practically begging.

  “Yeah, let’s see what you’ve got honey!”

  “Okay!” and Ed pulled open his trousers and let the beast spring out. It was probably the best hard-on Gloria had seen on her husband in years and to be honest she wouldn’t have been at all averse to climbing aboard it but, not tonight. “Hey! What do you think of that?” Ed exclaimed as though he was showing her his new power boat.

  “Hey yourself, big boy!” Gloria helped him along, “What are you going to do with that?”

  “What are you going to do with it?”

  “I’m just going to sit here and let my husband entertain me - go on honey, tame that monster!”

  “Huh? What, you want me to - ” but he had already started.

  “Get a grip baby! Show me how you beat off! C’mon baby, beat your meat for me!” Gloria panted.

  “Aw yeah!” Ed shouted hammering his fist up and down on his penis.

  “Show me who’s boss of the house baby!”

  “The cock is!” Ed managed to get out near suffocating for want of oxygen, his muscular action using it all up.

  “And y
ou’re the Cock of the Walk baby! Gloria shouted, all apparent admiration.

  “Grrrr!”

  “Don’t let that cobra go baby, it frightens me!” she screamed getting all imaginative and theatrical.

  “I like that honey! Aw honey!” said Ed, knocking seven bells out of himself.

  “C’mon baby, hit the windows with it!” she encouraged him, and that seemed to do it, Ed sprayed sperm like a soda stream. It didn’t get half way to the windows but it did land in Ed’s fish tank, sending the guppies into a frenzy of something Gloria didn’t want to speculate upon, although she did think, Could be more guppies or guppy-Ed like things in a little while.

  While Ed was still thrashing about like a lone fireman heroically holding on to the end of a high pressure hose during a major incident, Gloria slipped away, and by the time he staggered into the bedroom, she was fast asleep, or seemed to be. “You cleaned your mess up? What about those poor fish? I was never sure about fluoride in the water but - at least we had the choice!” she said sleepily before turning over and leaving poor Ed wondering what had happened.

  Chapter Four

  Sauce for the Gander!

  This time Gloria was going to take her time about it. She went into a large town store feeling new confidence about browsing amongst the delicacies of the Lingerie Department and after a lot of thought, matching imaginary erotic scenes to luxurious fabrics, styles and colours, bought herself the most beautiful underwear which she thought most perfectly expressed her intentions and new identity. The cups of the bra were transparent gauze as were the pants. The set was designed in wide black and white stripes, and in the middle of the bra and all over the suspenders, there were little red bows. Instead of the usual black stockings, Gloria chose white and that Thursday morning as she dressed for her second encounter with a new man she so enjoyed walking about catching sight of herself in mirrors and feeling so exotically sexual that it was all she could do, not to masturbate.

  Just after nine, there was a text from Don saying that Trisha had gone and that he was putting the champagne on ice and that he had parked his car on the street leaving the garage free for her to drive into. Gloria thought that was a nice touch and wondered if Don had done this before. She had been going to walk again but Don’s text changed her mind and at a little after ten to the hour, Gloria got into her convertible and it being such a nice day, put the hood down and started the engine.

  ***

  Don must have heard her car in the garage because as Gloria stepped out of it, the kitchen door opened and Don stood beaming at her. “Gloria Wilson, I was hoping it was you!”

  Gloria smiled softly, “I knew you would be wondering who it was Don. Were there any other suspects?”

  “To be honest, unless it was a complete stranger, which I thought was highly unlikely, especially as Gerry got the same photos, it could only be one of the wives of my three golfing partners - and only one of them measured up to the pictures.”

  “You’re very clever, and very flattering; I hope I won’t disappoint you.”

  “Oh you won’t Sugar, don’t worry about that! But come in. Let’s have a glass of bubbly and you can tell me about it.”

  “I’m not intending to tell you much Don, this is a take it or leave it situation.” Gloria told him, once inside, as he handed her a glass of champagne.

  “Okay, I’ll take it! But you might as well know that I’ve known about Ed and Natalie for months now Gloria. I saw them together a couple of times and when the photos of you arrived, the rest wasn’t hard to work out. Ed’s not very good at it, is he - subterfuge I mean!”

  “No, he’s more willing than able, on both counts. What about you Don, how good at it are you?”

  “I’m pretty enthusiastic as well Gloria, especially since it’s you. You must have known how badly I wanted you; I’ve lusted after you for years!”

  “No, I didn’t know - but then, there’s lots of things I’m only beginning to find out. Would you like me to take my dress off?”

  “More than anything else in the world! Would you like me to help?”

  “No Don, just sit and look for a while and keep talking to me, you’re an interesting man, and I’m not in any hurry.” Gloria got up and stepped out of her dress and Don whistled and told her she was a knockout. Instead of sitting back down, Gloria took her drink on a little journey about the room enjoying Don’s eyes following her, studying her body. At one point she bent over to look at a photo on the coffee table and she heard him breathe in sharply and mutter something torrid under his breath. She didn’t catch what it was, but she liked it anyway. The circuit complete, she came back and stopped beside him, her hips level with his face and he leaned forward and kissed her through her lacy pants on the pudenda.

  “I have to ask Gloria, did Lenny get the pictures too? It doesn’t matter to me, it’s just that we’ve been skating around each other for the last couple of weeks and it would be a relief to know either way.”

  “You don’t give in, do you Don, not until you’ve got it all worked out? Yes he got the same as you - and Gerry...who didn’t get the second batch because there was no point, because he told his wife.”

  “Oh God, you’re not falling for that are you? Gerry never told Natalie about the pictures, Gerry never saw them! Jesus Gloria, Gerry doesn’t open any mail; Gerry doesn’t open his fly without Natalie’s say-so!”

  “What? Oh, that two faced lying - How do you know that Don?”

  “Because Gerry told me, he told all of us...Gerry didn’t even know about the pictures until after Natalie went and told Trish and Lisa that he had received porno in the post, it was me who told him that he had! That’s when he told us, at golf...Natalie opens the mail and she hadn’t said anything to him about pictures and as far as I know, she still hasn’t!”

  “But I don’t get it...what’s the point in not telling him - having it out with him?” Gloria asked.

  “You haven’t told Ed anything...and she won’t tell Gerry, because she knows he hasn’t done anything and doesn’t know anything so she’s keeping him in the dark; at least she thinks she is...until she finds out what’s going on. She’ll act then, believe me, she’s a cool one and no mistake!”

  “Wait a minute Don! I never said I hadn’t spoken to Ed about it and you can’t know...not unless he’s told you - the rat, well I’ll tell him now!” Gloria shouted, furious that she hadn’t been so smart after all.

  “Okay, okay, stop right there!” Don said, wearily, “Ed hasn’t told me anything Gloria. It was Natalie, she told me. Look Gloria, the fact is, I’ve been having an affair with Natalie for two years now. I don’t want to be ungrateful or betray her in any way, because the sex is great, but she’s no angel Gloria. If you want to mess with her, you have to know what you might be getting into!” Don stopped there and put his head in his hands, “Aw shit! I knew this was going to happen! I knew I would blow my chance, but I had to tell you Gloria, I couldn’t let you make a mistake. You’re beautiful Gloria, I’ve loved you for years, I really have, I just never thought I would get a chance - I never thought Ed would give me one!”

  If Gloria heard the compliment, she wasn’t thinking about it, her eyes narrowed and focussed on Don’s. “But you got the pictures too, so you knew Natalie wasn’t making it up...and you certainly knew it wasn’t her or your wife in them...and Lisa’s a different shape completely...Wait a minute...You knew it was me all along! And so did fucking Natalie!” she shouted then turned away and sat on the couch battling with the revelations and their consequences and oblivious now to her state of undress...but Don wasn’t, he was almost weeping for the loss of her curvaceous, creamily skinned perfection presented as it had been so enticingly near and nearly naked.

  “Listen Gloria, this is too late I know, but if there’s any chance...I’ll give Natalie up like a shot for you, Jesus I’ll give Trish up for you - and sh
e’s not screwing anybody...as far as I know! Has anything really changed? I mean can’t we just start again with you at the garage door and me not being a smart ass? Please?”

  Gloria got up, “No Don, we can’t.” she said, and forgetting she was only wearing her transparent bra and knickers, lifted her bag and strode out of the kitchen door and got into her car, without giving the startled Don any time to stop her. The engine roared and the big open top reversed out of the drive nearly hitting a crocodile of children and their teachers on their way to the frog pond.

  “Oh hello, Mrs Wilson,” said Hayley Fisher, as Gloria stood on the brake and brought the car to a noisy dusty slewing halt in the middle of the column, “My mum says there’s more to you than meets the eye - Now I can tell her, there really isn’t, you’re nearly all bare!”

  “Is that lady going to the beach miss?” some tousled tot, asked the teacher.

  “No she isn’t, she’s going to jail!” the outraged jealous, fat lump of morbid moral rectitude recited, but Gloria had other ideas.

  She threw the stick into first and shot back into the drive where Don stood waving her dress above his head. “Will you stop doing that?” she asked him a mite testily as she ran from the car to his door, all the bits that wobble, wobbling wonderfully.

  Back inside, Gloria sat back down on the couch and stared at Don staring at her. The run had bounced both breasts out of her bra and instead of fitting them back in, she took it off and threw it at him.

  “Has Natalie told Ed that it was me in the pictures?”

  “No and she won’t. She told me he couldn’t handle it, but she’d given him some hints that you might know about the affair. Your breasts are wonderful.”

  “Did you tell her that you got the pictures too?”

  “No. That’s why she made such a fuss about it. She thinks you’re after Gerry and she’s trying to scare you off. Can I touch them?”

  “She invited me to the house, do you know that? As long as I think you’re telling the truth.”

  “Of course I knew. She wants to embarrass you with your own pictures in front of Gerry. She thinks you’ll be intimidated in her house and she’ll be able to belittle you,” he said, kneeling in front of her fondling her breasts. He took her wrists and held them behind her waist and pushed her back so that her breasts swelled up in front of his face in the perfect position for sucking. When he took his hands away, hers were still trapped and her ribcage was jutting up irresistibly then he gathered her breasts up together in a wonderful soft cone and pushed his face in it and began to lick and suckle.